Attack of the Snuggies
by Evelyn92
Summary: The BAU comes under attack. From snuggies. With a little inside help from one Penelope Garcia.
1. Garcia

Penelope Garcia was waiting in her lair for her team to return, they had gotten off the jet twenty minutes ago – she smiled as she enjoyed the power she held in her hands, literally so as her fingers could hack into anything and by anything she meant the flight history and information of the FBI vehicles which meant she could track her team during flights. The blinking dot always reassured her that they were indeed on their way home to her. They had been gone for four days, and although she spoke to one of them at least every hour, it was always a relief to have them home and safe from the bad guys. When she heard a knock on her open door, she swivelled her chair around to greet her friend.

"Hey Penelope, are you feeling alright? You aren't sick are you?" Reid asked her, looking worried.

"No hun, why would you think that?"

"Well you have a blanket and the temperature in here is no colder than usual, which means you are just feeling the cold more which means your immune system has a fault in it." He explained while she turned to switch off her monitors for the night, now that her team had returned.

"I'm fine, it's just that I bought this new this week and am still enjoying its novelty." She stood up and Reid noticed that the blanket didn't fall on the floor, and that in fact Garcia was wearing the blanket as it had sleeves. At his confused expression Penelope laughed at him. "It's called a snuggie. It is a blanket you can wear because it stays on you so you can move around and won't have to leave the warmth of the blanket."

"That is actually a really good idea." Reid commented, slightly jealous that he didn't have one, he smiled at his friend as they walked to join the rest of the team in the bull pen. "Although, does it have to be neon pink?"

"Yes. For a genius that was a pretty dumb question." She said cheekily, nudging him in the side. "They have every colour and loads of patterns, as long as you know where to find the good websites. Which I do. Anyway, not to sound rude but why is it you coming to get me and not my double chocolate muffin?"

"Well...er..your muffin got into a fight with the unsub so went straight home instead of coming here."He really hoped she wouldn't flip out on him before there were other witnesses around.

"He didn't tell me that. I spoke to him on the jet as well! That sneaky little shark." She grabbed her phone out of her bag in order to call Morgan to first yell at him and then maybe check that he was alright. In that order.


	2. JJ and Emily

The team had been called in early that morning, early as in before the sun was up. One of the cases they were tracking had had another body turn up and the short amount of time between the last two kills meant that the team had to leave right away. Unfortunately for the ladies of the team, the night before had been their night out, and boy were they feeling it. It had started off as something nice and relaxing; just shopping and dinner. However, Garcia had taken control and managed to add alcohol into their night. JJ and Emily were now realising that while this was a good idea for Pen, the other two had to go and stay awake for the next 24 hours running around the wilderness of Nebraska.

The team's men were already seated and were watching amused at the apparent state of hangover in the two girls.

"Late night last night?" Rossi chuckled when Emily violently slammed down the window blind against the light starting to appear from the rising sun.

"Garcia's fault. Garcia's idea. Kill Garcia." Emily muttered while trying to curl herself actually into the seat, but loud enough so that everyone heard.

JJ started rummaging in her bag; it was one of the shopping bags that they had gained last night, also courtesy of one Penelope Garcia. She pulled out two of the items, handing one to Emily to wrap around herself.

"You guys got snuggies too?" Reid asked them, while Morgan and Dave looked at him like he had just stood up and told them he was secretly a woman. "I don't have one. Garcia was wearing one in her office a couple of days ago. Are they the new popular thing?"

"I think so. We went to the mall last night and Pen got us to buy these, and one for Henry." JJ explained, and pulled a third snuggie out from the bag which was child sized. The smaller one was tiger print, the same as JJ's, while Emily's was zebra print.

"Henry is going to love it" Dave said and JJ agreed, folding it and placing it back in the bag. She was thinking that after seeing her and Henry match, Will would probably want one too.


	3. Reid

Three days later, the team were getting back onto the jet for the return journey. Again, the girls got their snuggies out.

"It's just so cosy and, well, snugly." Emily was still loving her new belonging and continued to tell JJ how much she loved it.

"Plus I can still eat my Cheetos without getting cold." JJ agreed, whilst opening a packet of said snack. "Want one?" JJ stretching her arm out dramatically to Emily to enforce the usefulness of the sleeves in the blanket. What they saw next made JJ nearly drop the packet entirely.

Spencer had been reading a book in one of the window seats across from the girls and whilst they had been talking, he seemed to have gained a purple growth. Spencer Reid had bought a lavender purple snuggie. Without outside coercion.

Before the girls could say anything about where he had bought it from, Derek got onto the plane and saw what Reid had on. "Oh for the love of Garcia! Not you too man?"

"It's the same as a blanket. I like it." Reid defended himself.

"I am not sitting with you three. You look like idiots." Derek stalked off to the other end of the plane.

"One of us. One of us. One of us."Emily chanted which made everyone laugh.


	4. Dave

The team were in the bullpen doing paperwork for the case they had wrapped up yesterday.

"I'm going to go talk to Dave about this case, I can't even read his writing." Emily told the others while going up onto the catwalk towards his office. As she passed Hotch's office, she gave him a little wave through the window, which made him smile. She went into Dave's office without knocking, she hadn't seen anyone else near his office all afternoon so guessed it was safe to go in.

"Hey Dave..." Emily stopped in her tracks when she saw him. He was sitting in his office chair wearing a bright red snuggie. Emily couldn't help it but laugh at him, there were tears started to fall on her face because she was laughing so much. He looked so serious and then so fuzzy all at once.

The rest of the team in the bullpen must have heard her laughing and came to the doorway to see what was so funny, they hated missing an opportunity to make fun of Dave.

"See, I told you it was nice. So does this mean I can get mine out in the office too?" Reid asked them.

"Not unless you want to be beaten to death by your chair." Derek was still dealing with his issues with snuggies.

Derek turned his glare on Dave. "What is wrong with you? You are wearing a blanket. Just shows how old you are, Gramps."

"Aww, don't listen to him Dave. He's just jealous that you can pull of the adorable Grandpa look." JJ tried to appease him. Dave just smiled proudly and took the case file that had been placed on his desk.

"I can make anything look good." He said smugly.


	5. Morgan

The team were having a family bonding night and were watching some DVD's at Dave's house. Mainly because he has the biggest television.

"So what will it be tonight?" Garcia asked everyone while scanning through Dave's collection.

"No horror or murder mystery" Emily said.

"Yeah, we get enough of that every day" JJ said, cringing at still being able to recall the images from the last case perfectly.

"No, because some people sit there the whole time pointing out mistakes made by law enforcement and how the whole situation could have been solved faster." Emily replied, glaring at Hotch and Reid.

"Well, no chick flicks either. I don't want to have to shoot myself." Derek added.

"Don't you dare get blood on this furniture." Dave threatened.

Garcia had decided on a Disney film, which no one could argue against, and everyone got comfortable waiting for the film to start. To enhance the comforting situation, those with ownership of snuggies decided to pull them out and curl up underneath them. To everyone's surprise, Derek actually had one too, a blue one.

"Finally joining the club Morgan?" JJ teased him.

"Not by choice." He grumbled, glaring at the floor.

"Pen, what did you do?" Emily asked Garcia, knowing that only she would go to extreme lengths to get what she wants and also because she was the only one who had power over Morgan.

"Don't ask. I'm not sure it was legal and I don't want you guys to have to arrest me." Garcia hid further into her snuggie.

"You're the only one left now Hotch, and we will convert you." Reid said turning to face Hotch, looking scarily serious.


	6. Hotch

The team seemed to have taken their snuggie venture very seriously and were determined to get Hotch into one if it was the last thing they did.

They had been on the jet flying home from a case and it was late at night, the entire team was asleep. Well, they appeared to be asleep. Garcia and JJ were most definitely not asleep, instead they were leaning over their unit chief's sleeping form with Garcia attempting to place the snuggie over him and JJ standing back with her camera phone at the ready.

"If that touches me you are fired Penelope Garcia" Hotch said in a firm voice without even opening his eyes. The girls felt the threat and retreated back to their seats red faced at being caught and outwitted by their boss.

xxxx

The next attempt had come only a few days later when the team were situated in a small town in North Carolina, whose only hotel had a broken heating system and the team were therefore reduced to piling on blankets and keeping close for body heat. The team had been split into two rooms; men in one and women in the other. Emily brought a pile of blankets into the men's room for their use that night, passing the bundle to Reid which appeared to be weigh more than he did. Unfortunately for the unit chief, the ladies pretty much could get Reid and Morgan to do their bidding with only mild persuasion and a lot of threats. Hurriedly Morgan switched off the light and grabbed the blanket that Reid held out to him, so in pitch black darkness he also took a blanket for himself, threw one to Rossi and then finally, the one at the bottom of the pile to Hotch. The other three agents quickly got under their blankets and tried to force themselves to sleep, while Hotch was trying to spread out his blanket in the darkness, however something was different about it. It was not flat and thick like the other blankets, it had extra bits.

"Conspiring with fellow team members against your unit chief is not a wise use of your time and if you try to do it again you will be staying behind with Garcia in her office during the next case" Hotch announced to the room, he had become aware of what indeed the object was that he had been given. Nice try, he thought, but Aaron Hotchner was not so easily fooled. Using his phone as a torch, he walked over to where Reid was trying to hide in his blanket, and grabbed the blanket from Reid, throwing in its place the offending snuggie.

"Why me?" Spencer squeaked, surprised by the quick burst of cold air that he was now being exposed to.

"You are the weakest link and so give in to the girls easier than the others, this will teach you not to be so ready to do so next time."

The next morning, the girls found out what had happened as Spencer was refusing to speak to them and kept a permanent pout on the whole time. They had all apologised profusely but he simply responded each time with "have you ever had to sleep in a cold building with only a snuggie?" They agreed not to use Reid again as their infiltrator, something which Dave and Morgan groaned at in displeasure as the task would now fall to them.

Xxxx

"Oh yeah...that's nice...ahhhhhh yesssss" noises such as these were being heard from behind the closed bedroom door of the apartment. The woman had just shut the front door behind her and could hear moaning coming from the bedroom, knowing that her boyfriend was the only one home she was curious and angry, how could he be cheating on her? Silently slipping off her shoes and creeping over to the source of the noise as to not give away her presence before she wanted it known, she put her ear to the door to double check that her ears were not deceiving her.

"So good...mmmmm" she heard her boyfriend say, at which point she slammed open the door, causing it to hit the wall, and stepped into the room.

"How dare you?...Oh" Her anger faded immediately when she saw the real situation her boyfriend was in. The woman stood in the doorway in shock, the brunette pair's eyes staring at each other, both thinking of something appropriate to say. "Well don't you look cosy?" She said smirking at him before being unable to hold her laughter in any more. While she laughed at him, her boyfriend didn't move from his place, but simply frowned at her and she could detect a definite pout appearing on his lips.

"Emily, this isn't what it looks like" he tried to plead with her, as he made to move off of the bed. However, she was quicker than him and managed to quickly grab her phone out of her pocket to snap a picture of his situation.

"Hard evidence Hotchner." She told him.

Erin Strauss was headed towards the BAU, it was getting to the end of a very long day in the office as all teams had been temporarily grounded so that paperwork could be filled out concerning budgets and resources. It is definitely not the most exciting thing to do and she felt the need to go home more than most, but before she left for the day she had to collect the files from Hotchner's team. She was well aware that between Rossi and Reid they tried to alter the paperwork so that they could get extra out of the budget and they thought she didn't know; she's Erin Strauss and knows everything that goes on in her department. As she entered the bullpen, none of the team could be seen but she could see the lights on in the conference room where she guessed they had all grouped together. Strauss entered the room without knocking, and was greeted by a surprising sight. The entire team were seated around the table with papers strewn all over it, and they all seemed to be wearing blankets, with sleeves. They all turned to stare at Strauss with wide eyes as they realised how they must look to her, however they were too in shock to think to try to remove themselves from their snuggies, and so sat there in silence waiting for their boss to respond to the situation.

"Ma'am.." Hotch tried to say something to fill the awkward silence.

"As you were" Strauss said simply before backing out of the doorway and closing the door. Her day had just been greatly improved; she only just managed to shut the door fully before bursting into laughter.

The team could see her walk away out of the windows and watched her laugh her way out of the bullpen.

"Garcia, the next time you find some new craze, please do not bring it into work; seeing Strauss laugh is scary."


End file.
